Why?
Why did I fail my midterms? I asked myself the same thing. There are several factors that could contribute to this chain of events.
- I didn’t study and practice my skills enough. I’m pretty certain, I’m not the only PT student who feels this way. Looking back, I spent a majority of my time after school doing things that were NOT studying (including, but not limited to exercising, cooking dinner, watching one episode of “Gilmore Girls,” reading my Bible, blogging, napping, spending time with my parents, etc.). [I never admitted to being a procrastinator until now.]
- I wasn’t motivated and/or interested in studying. [part of why I didn’t study] The best way information will stick in you brain is by connecting it to a memory or experience – make the information interesting. My only experiences were at the pro bono clinic, which wasn’t a problem because I volunteered there often. But then again, if I’ve been having doubts about being a PT, where was the motivation or interest to study?
- I was not [and still not] ready. Even after all the studying I did, I wasn’t fully prepared. This realization happened during the first week of summer break. My mom made the connection for me, “You wished for a particular patient case, but you weren’t ready to solve all patient cases.” She is right. I think part of what happened was God telling me that I’m not ready. Think about it: If I have been barely passing my exams, how would I do on the NPTE?
Why am I taking a break? Well, for starters, I have no choice. In addition to withdrawing from classes, I also requested to take a personal leave of absence. The second practical I failed was the first time I experienced “anxiety.” [I put it in quotes because I’m not technically diagnosed with the condition.] I was more tense than usual. I noticed I was eating less but still feeling full. Furthermore, I cry every time I talked about the subject of what happened. I continue to criticize and blame myself for what happened. [Because there’s not point in putting the blame on other people.] In conclusion, I’m no longer able to work at a capacity to be successful in PT school. I need time to take care of my physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being.
Find out what I’m doing while I’m on break, go to the next page! [You’re almost finished!]
Megan Francisco says
I appreciate your ability to be transparent ! Your steps in life are ordered and ordained by God, so listen to your heart and allow His grace to guide you during this time of healing!!
Jordaine Enriquez says
Thank you so much for reminding me of God’s grace and timing. Wishing you happiness and success as you enter your 3rd year of PT school.
hidalgokat says
Hi Jordaine! I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles in PT school that you need a break. On the other hand, I love your outlook and attitude towards these changes! I’m sure it wasn’t easy to get here, but you sound so calm and ready to take on what’s next. Your perseverence is inspiring. I so look forward to what you have ahead of you, PT or otherwise!
There’s so much of your story that resonates with me, so I’m so grateful that you share your story!
Jordaine Enriquez says
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! I’m not gonna lie, it took time to process my feelings and reach acceptance of all that has happened. I finally realized breaks are a good thing. I look forward to updating you on my journey.